What "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir" Actually Means (And Why You Shouldn't Say It)

Planning to use that famous French phrase in Paris? After reviewing dozens of cringe-worthy tourist stories and speaking with native French speakers, I need to tell you: please don't.

As a native French speaker who founded French Together, I've heard countless stories of tourists embarrassing themselves with this phrase. While Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? is technically correct French, it sounds bizarre to native speakers and will mark you as either clueless or offensive.

Quick answer: The phrase means "Do you want to sleep with me tonight?" but uses formal "you" (vous) with an intimate proposition, which is jarring in French. Real French people would never say this. If you want to impress French speakers, learn conversational French that sounds natural, not phrases from 1970s disco songs.

Last updated: November 6, 2025

Quick Facts About This Phrase

What it means: "Do you want to sleep with me tonight?"

Why everyone knows it: Popularized by the 1974 song "Lady Marmalade" (and 2001 remake)

Would French people say it? No. The formal vous with an intimate invitation sounds wrong.

What to say instead: If you're actually in a romantic situation: "J'ai très envie de faire l'amour avec toi" (but read the full context below first)

Better use of your time: Learn natural conversational French that actually impresses French speakers

Before you started learning French, there's a phrase you might have already been familiar with: Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (often misspelled vule vu cushe avec mua.)

A quick online search will show you you're not alone. You'll easily find dozens of stories of tourists or French students spouting out this question, sometimes without even knowing what it means, and always with cringeworthy results.

Why the cringe-worthiness? For one thing, although it's technically correct and French people will understand it, Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? has a bizarre ring to it for French native speakers.

For another, just blurting out this sentence or asking it to someone in earnest is forward at best, and offensive at worst.

Let's look at why Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? is so well-known around the world, and why you probably shouldn't say it to a French person.

Why Does Everyone Know This Phrase?

It turns out that what seems to be an iconic French phrase was actually popularized by foreign speakers.

In 1921, American writer John Dos Passos used it in his book Three Soldiers, albeit deliberately misspelled and minus the ce soir. This is the first recorded use of the phrase. Not long after, E.E. Cummings (one of my favorite poets, for what it's worth), included the phrase Voulez-vous coucher avec moi in his poem "Little Ladies." It was also used in Tennessee Williams's famous 1947 play A Streetcar Named Desire, this time with ce soir added.

A few decades later, it soared to popularity thanks to disco! In 1974, the Patti LaBelle-fronted group Labelle released the ultra-catchy "Lady Marmalade", a song about a New Orleans prostitute who says the now-famous line.

People of my generation are probably more familiar with the 2001 remake of the French song featuring Christina Aguilera, Mya, Pink, and Lil' Kim (as well as a cameo by Missy Elliott), for the movie Moulin Rouge!.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQa7SvVCdZk

As a language learner, you probably know that it's often easier to memorize things when they're in song form, and that's what seems to have happened here: Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? is sung to a really catchy tune that sticks in your head, in an era when music has gone global. It was bound to become famous.

What Does Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Actually Mean?

Let's break it down: Voulez-vous is the inverted form of Vous voulez, that is, "Do you want?" This is followed by coucher ("to sleep"), then avec moi ("with me"), and to finish it off, ce soir ("this evening/tonight").

Translation: "Do you want to sleep with me tonight?"

Use This Phrase to Learn French Grammar (Not Pickup Lines)

If this phrase is engraved in your brain, there's good news: You can use it to help you remember the basic structure of inverted interrogative French sentences:

the conjugated verb (in this case, Voulez)
a hyphen
the subject (in this case, vous)
a noun or a second verb (in the infinitive) (in this case, coucher)
any additional elements (in this case, avec moi ce soir)

Try it with any question you like. For example, here's a question I ask in order to gauge just what sort of person I'm talking to: Aimez-vous les chats ou les chiens? (Do you like cats or dogs?).

Here's another question, this time with a second verb: Veux-tu aller à la plage demain? (Do you want to go to the beach tomorrow?)

Veux-tu aller à la plage demain ?

💡 Want to learn French grammar in context? French Together teaches you grammar through real conversations, not isolated phrases. You'll learn sentence structures naturally while practicing speaking from day one.

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Do French People Actually Say This?

The reason for this phrase's popularity, and its structure, make a lot of sense, right? Well, now I'm going to blow your mind: A native French speaker would probably never say "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?"

That's because, although it's grammatically correct, the use of vous, the formal form of "you", with an invitation to such an intimate act is jarring to most French people. If a French person were forward enough to ask you to sleep with them outright, even if they didn't know you well, they would use the informal tu.

If you've ever been hit on in France, you've probably discovered this already.

When Would Anyone Say This Phrase?

So, what's the deal? Is this phrase just an American author's mistake?

It doesn't seem likely, since other writers seem to have heard it, as well. This is where it gets interesting.

John Dos Passos and E.E. Cummings were two free-spirited writers who spent time in Paris in an era where maisons closes (brothels) and prostitution were legal and fairly common. This makes me wonder if the phrase is something that they heard prostitutes say, either to address the crowd of passersby (don't forget that vous can also signify multiple people) or simply to add a note of politeness/professionalism to the forward question.

I'm not the only one who's wondered about this. And in Cummings' poem "Little Ladies", the phrase is spoken by a French prostitute (or, at least, the speaker's memory of one). So it seems like this theory is probably correct.

So What DO You Say If You Want a French Person to Sleep with You?

Prostitution is still legal in France today, although maisons closes are not, due to a law that forbids pimping. If you say "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?" to a French prostitute today, they probably won't bat an eye (business is business). But they won't ever say this to you.

As for the general population, don't believe the stereotypes. French people are not super-sexual beings who declare their passions and desires without any kind of shame or restraint.

The French may be a bit more open about certain things, but it's still considered incredibly forward and rude to walk up to someone and ask them to sleep with you, especially if you've never met them before.

The Legal Reality: Street Harassment is a Crime

Don't let being in a foreign country make you completely lose your sense of respect. And if you do, don't worry (at the very least, the person you approached will ignore you; at worst, you'll get slapped or maybe even beaten up). And then, there's the law. In 2018, catcalling and other kinds of street harassment became a crime in France. Say something crude to someone and you'll get hit with a 70 euro fine the first time, then a 3000 euro fine the next.

So even if you're mad with desire for someone in France, try to act normal. Be polite and non-threatening. Offer to buy them a drink and get to know them. And of course, be prepared for rejection even if you're on your best behavior. Contrary to what pop culture often shows, French people don't just sleep with anyone they meet.

What Would French People Actually Say?

It's important to say all of this, but I haven't really answered the question, have I? What if you're in a situation where you can reasonably think the person you're talking to might be interested in getting it on (to reference another 70's music hit) with you? How can you ask if they're up for it?

So much depends on context and on your relationship. Flirting is an art, and so is communication. And of course, when it comes to physical things, it often just…happens, without much planning in advance.

That said, this article gives two examples of the actual way Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? would be said in France today:

Veux-tu coucher avec moi ce soir? (using informal tu instead of formal vous)
Tu as envie de coucher avec moi ce soir? (more natural, "Do you feel like sleeping with me tonight?")

As the author of the article points out, the first example still feels a bit formal, since inverted questions in spoken French tend to have that connotation. So, the second example works better. I especially like it because it includes envie, which is often used to express bold sexual desire. J'ai envie de toi, for example, means "I want you."

How to Actually Sound French

If you want to genuinely connect with French speakers, here's the difference between what tourists say and what actually works:

What Tourists Say	What French People Say	What You Should Learn
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?	Natural conversation starters	French Together lessons
Disco song phrases	Context-appropriate expressions	Real-world scenarios
Memorized pickup lines	Genuine compliments	Conversational skills
Formal vous for everything	Knowing when to use tu vs vous	Cultural nuance

The key difference: French people appreciate authentic conversation over rehearsed phrases. Learn to chat naturally, and relationships (romantic or otherwise) develop from there.

A Word of Caution About These Phrases

That said, both of these phrases also have a slight, sour note to me, as they probably do for millions of other people who've been approached or harassed in France. There are times when you might be sitting in a park, reading a book or checking your phone and wearing clothes that certainly don't inspire the phrase "Oh là là," and yet, out of nowhere, someone will approach you. They may be French, or they may be someone from another country who assumes that you're "easy" since you're French (or, at least, a seemingly available person in France).

Whether you look like Alain Delon or Brigitte Bardot in their heyday or a sketchy individual from the streets, heads up to people who do this: It is not attractive. It actually comes off as desperate, shallow (at least chat me up a bit and pretend to like me!), and even threatening.

The Right Way to Impress French Speakers

So, to recap: If you were planning to go to France and ask every attractive person you see to sleep with you, no, it is not normal in France to ask someone you don't know or barely know to sleep with you.

If you're in a relationship with someone, on the other hand, or you guys are in heavy flirtation mode and have been seeing each other for a while, you could say "J'ai très envie de faire l'amour avec toi" (I really want to make love to you/I really want you.).

Of course, keep in mind that no matter how you ask, there's no guarantee the person you're asking will say "Oui."

When it comes to getting a French person to sleep with you, use your language skills in a different way. Learn to make conversation, ask questions, give the occasional compliment. Things should proceed naturally from there.

Leave Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? on your bookshelves or the dancefloor.

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Frequently Asked Questions

"Is it ever okay to say this phrase to a French person?"

Only if you're deliberately being ironic or joking with someone you know well who will get the reference. Never say it seriously to someone you're trying to impress or seduce. It marks you as someone who learned French from disco songs, not real conversations.

"What if I've already said this to someone?"

If they laughed, they probably understood you were joking. If they looked uncomfortable or walked away, they thought you were serious (and rude). Learn from it and move on. Better yet, learn conversational French so you can apologize properly and have an actual conversation.

"How do French people actually flirt?"

Through conversation, humor, compliments, and reading social cues. Just like anywhere else in the world, but perhaps with a bit more emphasis on wit and charm. The key is learning to have real conversations in French, not memorizing pickup lines.

French Together teaches you conversational skills through 90 real-world scenarios, including how to:

Introduce yourself naturally
Ask someone about their interests
Give genuine compliments
Suggest meeting for coffee or a drink

All with AI pronunciation feedback so you sound confident, not awkward.

"What French phrases should I learn instead?"

Focus on conversational basics that work in real situations:

Comment tu t'appelles? (What's your name?)
Qu'est-ce que tu fais dans la vie? (What do you do?)
Tu veux prendre un verre? (Want to grab a drink?)
J'aime bien parler avec toi (I enjoy talking with you)

These phrases sound natural, show genuine interest, and don't make you look like you learned French from Lady Marmalade.

"Can I use this phrase as a joke?"

With close friends who know you're being ironic? Maybe. With French people you just met? Absolutely not. Humor doesn't always translate, and this phrase has such a cringey reputation that even as a joke it might not land well.

"Why is using vous wrong here if it's grammatically correct?"

In French, vous creates formality and distance. Using it with an intimate invitation is like saying "Excuse me, sir/madam, would you care to engage in sexual relations with me this evening?" in English. Technically correct, completely bizarre in practice.

The informal tu is used even with strangers when the context is personal or intimate. This is one of those cultural nuances that French Together teaches through context, not just grammar rules.

Quick Quiz: Do You Sound Like a Tourist?

Curious if you're learning disco French or real French? Take our quick assessment:

You sound like a tourist if you:

❌ Memorize phrases from songs without understanding cultural context
❌ Use formal vous in situations that call for informal tu
❌ Learn pickup lines instead of conversation skills
❌ Think French people are more forward than they actually are

You sound like a real French speaker if you:

✅ Learn phrases in cultural context
✅ Understand when to use tu vs vous
✅ Focus on natural conversation, not rehearsed lines
✅ Practice pronunciation with native speaker feedback

Want to sound like a real French speaker?

→ Try French Together free for 7 days and learn French that actually works in real life (90 lessons covering authentic situations, AI pronunciation feedback, audio from native speakers at slow and natural speed)

The Bottom Line

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? is a fun piece of pop culture history, a useful grammar example, and a terrible thing to actually say to French people.

If you genuinely want to impress French speakers:

Learn conversational French that sounds natural - Focus on real scenarios, not disco lyrics
Practice pronunciation - So you're understood clearly and sound confident
Learn cultural norms - Like when to use tu vs vous, and what's appropriate to say
Have actual conversations - Instead of blurting out memorized phrases

→ Try French Together free for 7 days and learn French that actually impresses people:

90 lessons covering real situations (not disco songs)
AI pronunciation feedback on every response
Natural-speed audio from native French speakers
Learn grammar in context, not in isolation
Practice with AI Speaking Partner (100 messages/day)

Leave the disco on the dancefloor. Learn French that works in real life.

What Our Learners Say

Real results from people who learned conversational French:

"Passed B1 oral A1 written with 92 and 95 percent pass rates. No way would have achieved that without this course." – Chris H., Switzerland